February 28th- The Miracle of Travis

February 28, 2014

Today was an interesting day. I got to go Latin dancing so that was nice. That is actually my favorite part of the week. When I get to teach Salsa, Merengue and Bachata I feel like I am in my element. Dance is one of my ways of releasing tension and expressing myself.

Tonight was no different. I had a great time and felt so good. But I think the miracle of today was my brother. It wasn't anything big but it helped me. He called while I was at work just to see how I was doing. Travis is the best. It wasn't anything he said necessarily but it was just nice hearing from him.

Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated in their life. He has a great way of showing that. He has always been my protector and confidant. If only I could find a man like him. He was my miracle today. He made me laugh and got my mind off of my troubles. What a guy! What a miracle!

February 27th- The Miracle of a Compliment

February 27, 2014

Today wasn't the greatest of days but the silver lining was going to work. While I was at work one of my clients called me beautiful. Do you ever have those days where you just know that you look like trash? Nothing can help you feel better on those days. No amount of makeup or speciality of clothes will help you. But when my client called me beautiful it was so genuine and it made me feel special.

If that wasn't enough of a confidence booster, about an hour later another client called me silly and another client defended me saying, "No she isn't! She is beautiful!" It was so sweet. It made me feel even more special. If only they knew the effect they have on my day. If only we all knew the effect we have on other people's day. I think if we did, we would be a bit kinder and a bit more understanding. I think we all could try a little harder to be someone's miracle today and everyday. What a miracle!

February 26th- The Miracle of Opposition

February 26, 2014

Sometimes when everything goes wrong you just have to say, "You know what? I will try this all again tomorrow." My miracle today is that I get a tomorrow. We can all dwell on the problems of today but what good does that do? It doesn't change anything. If it did, it would only make things worse. Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and hope for something better.

It's okay to have bad days. They help us to really appreciate the good ones. That is the beauty of opposition. What a Miracle!

February 25th- The Miracle of No Tickets

February 25, 2014

Today was a great day. It was a busy day, so that is always a nice thing. I didn't have enough time after work to drive home and then walk to my appointment on campus. So I took the risk of parking on campus without a permit. I came out expecting to see a nice orange ticket on my car but I was surprised to see nothing of the sort! Even though the ticket would have been like $10, it was still nice to have a bit of a break. What a Miracle!

February 24th- The Miracle of the Gym

February 24, 2014

Monday. These days are either days you don't want to get out of bed or days that you get everything accomplished. Thankfully, it was the latter of those today. I had so much energy to do everything I needed to and wanted to. I even got to go to the gym! To which my brother Travis was adverse to. He seems to think that I never take a break. Which may or may not be true. But going to the gym is a great way for me to feel productive and clear my head. That was exactly what I needed today. What a miracle!

February 23rd- The Miracle of Goals

February 23, 2014

You and I both know that Sundays are usually really good days for me. Today was no exception. Usually at church I get all these ideas and inspiration about how I can be better. I set all these goals for the week and then I only accomplish some of them. I get so much inspiration when I am at church that I actually get excited about the coming week. While I was sitting in church today I felt the need to set some unusual goals that I knew didn't come from me. As I wrote them down I realized that I could actually make these goals and accomplish them!

The reason behind me setting goals is having a reason to keep going and also something to look forward to. There is a sense of hope that comes when you set a goal. The hope that it will be attained and somehow you will be a better person because of it. I love the power and strength that comes from that.

During church, in Relief Society (the women's meeting) we watched this video that I thought was super cheesy when it began. But something told me to shut up and just listen with my spiritual ears. Not my critical ones. This video really was something that inspired me to feel better about who I am and why I am here. It reminded me of my purpose as a daughter of God. What a miracle!

Check out this video. It's great.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWi5iXnguTU

February 22nd- The Miracle of Thoughtfulness

February 22, 2014

 Earlier this morning I got a call from my big brother and he talked to me about a date he went on. It made me miss him a lot. When I was little I had some seriously long hair. Every night he would brush my hair at least 100 times and then braid it for me and put me to sleep. While he did this he would vent his girl problems and I would listen. Since then, he and I have had a very special bond. So that was a really nice way to start the day. That was not reflective of the rest of the day I had however.

Sometimes you just have days that make it hard to see the good. Today was one of those days. Instead of focusing on the bad though, I will tell you of what happened this evening. I had a pretty rough day. So I decided to celebrate said day by putting some pajamas on and watching a movie so I could really relish the pain from the day. Sometimes it is just easier to sit and feel sorry for yourself.

While in said pajamas, I got a call from someone who thought it would be nice to take me out for ice cream. They had no idea of the terrible day I had. They simply wanted to do something nice for me. Anyone who knows me will tell you that there are two ways to my heart: play with my hair or get me ice cream. So... it ended up being a great night. It's nice to know that even if everything else goes wrong in the world, I can still rest assured knowing that people will always care. What a miracle!


 

February 21st- The Miracle of Edna

February 21, 2014

Today has seemed like any normal day. I have been having some trouble with Edna -my car. My battery cables are eroded and they are literally being held together by some neon orange duct tape. Every morning when I go to work, I have to readjust the tape a couple times before it will start up. Today, after a couple times trying to adjust it, it turned on! I know this sounds silly and not like a miracle. But usually it takes so long for this to work. It gets very frustrating and rather embarrassing when people walk by and see me going back and forth trying to start my car.

Sure my car is quite the jalopy (don't tell her that- she gets upset) but I love it. I am so grateful for what I have. I have two jobs and a way to get to them. What a miracle!

February 20th- The Miracle of Womanhood

February 20, 2014

Today I realized something. We are much greater than the things that hold us back. Let me explain. For the past while I have considered myself a rather "carnal" person. I truly believed that as a woman, all I was good for was making babies and taking care of them. Can you blame me? I know that I have talked a lot about how women are attacked in social media, but this is a real problem.

The things that have held me back as a person have been the things that the world has driven into my mind. The idea of being "sexy" and how important that is for a woman. If you are reserved in nature then you aren't as fun. What has this created? A society of crass, dirty and outlandish women that have a voice no doubt, but a bad one. I don't know one woman that doesn't want to be loved or respected. I also don't know one woman who doesn't use her body or sex appeal to try to be loved or respected. Do you see the problem that is? I sure do.

We women have beautiful bodies that, if used right can be well respected and cherished. Rather than lusted after and disregarded after a few years. The way we use our bodies can be subtle. We wear something tight, low or even high. I am the first to admit that I dress to look sexy. I like guys to think that I am attractive. But what I and lots of other women in the world have failed to realize is that the way we present ourselves comes with a price.

Imagine a woman dressed in a short skirt and a low revealing top. She is attractive. Do you initially respect her? Odds are you don't. Why? She doesn't respect herself enough to dress appropriately. There is a time and a place for everything. Dressing sexy is for times that you want to have sex. It is the means by which we entice feelings of sexuality. What kind of man is going to respect you if all he can think about when he looks at you is doing you?

So what I have realized today is that I need to take a serious introspection of what I am voicing to the world everyday by my attire and attitude. Because you and I are better than that. We are more than just objects to be flaunted. We have character, strength and real beauty. What a Miracle!

February 19th- The Miracle of Shane

February 19, 2014

Today was my little brother's birthday. The kid turned 22. He has been through it all with me. If it wasn't for him many times in my childhood I wouldn't have made it. Whether it was getting stung by bee's or walking to the local 7-11 to terrorize the clerk, we were inseparable.

Because it was his birthday I took time to reminisce on how grateful I am for him. When things would get awful at home, we would head off down the street and talk. We were the only ones to keep each other sane at that time. I remember how hard it was for him when my dad left. I felt like I had to be the strong one because he was taking it so badly. He taught me what a promise really means, for we had so many broken ones. The miracle today was realizing I have brothers who love me and would stick up for me if I needed it. What a miracle in my life!

February 18th- The Miracle of Saving a Life

February 18, 2014

Tonight I went to a CPR training for my job. Thrilling, I know. That is not my miracle. But today isn't my miracle.

A man named James sat next to me during this class. I was rather bored out of my mind as I had heard all of this stuff before. I took this chance to tell a joke to James about how boring this class was. He called me to repentance as he responded with, "Well, I'm pretty interested. My mom's life was saved just last week by some random passerby who saw her choking on some gum."

I realized that not only was I heartless, I haven't truly been grateful for the miracles I had witnessed in my life. This man had seen his mother saved and was so grateful that he went and decided to learn this for himself so that he in turn could save someone else as well. We all could learn something from this man. Gratitude is more than just thanking people. It's deciding that you will be changed because of it. What a miracle!

February 17th-The Miracle of Self Worth

February 17, 2014

You know how it is easier to give advice than to take it? Why is that?!

Tonight my roommate was going through a hard time. She, like most girls these days, struggles with self esteem issues. She has an amazing boyfriend who treats her right, she is beautiful (I mean GORGEOUS) and can make anyone feel welcome and important. Yet, day after day I hear her tear herself down. She looks in the mirror and doesn't see her worth. You know why? Because your worth isn't found in the man in the mirror -Sorry Michael- It's found in your soul.

Beginning rant now: The problem with women today is that we see all these "people" who look a certain way or dress a certain way. They are idolized. From the moment we get our first Barbie to the checkout stand in a grocery store we are bombarded with images of a fake sense of "worth". Who needs that kinda negativity in their life? To live up to the God awful standard of being able to see your ribcage or a stupid gap between those "skinny jeans" is UNATTAINABLE. Being 5'10 and 95 lbs isn't sexy, stunning or glamorous. It's unhealthy! Freaking build a cake and eat it too! Marilyn Monroe was a size 11. She was sexy! You know what girls think at a size 11 today? Fatty. Fat McFatterson. I might as well join a Faternity cause I am so Fat. There is a difference from being healthy and unhealthy. But don't beat yourself up because you don't live up to some stupid standard the world has set. They suck anyway. Food is WAY too good to skip out on. But... the opposite is true as well. We need moderation and balance in all things. So don't blame me if you fall of the anorexia wagon and splash into a pool of diabetes and obesity. That isn't where I am going with this.

Okay, rant over... ish. My roommate is so pretty, but that doesn't matter. When you judge a person's worth, do you judge them by the way they look or dress? (if you said yes, *facepalm* leave.) No! You judge them based on their character. What they value. That is what can make a person either pretty, or pretty ugly to me.

This is more or less what I explained to my roommate tonight. She wasn't cutting herself enough slack. The grudges we hold in our hearts are only held by us. The moment we let them go, we are free. Free from ourselves, and free from our guilt.

Talking to her helped me gain a sense of clarity for myself. It also helped me feel needed and important. It may not have helped her, but for me it was a miracle. What a miracle!

February 16th- The Miracle of Endurance

February 16, 2014

Today was a hard day. Usually Sundays are my favorite days -and they are- but today was different. I was feeling particularly depressed as I drove home around 11 pm. They came again, those thoughts I have so desperately been trying to suppress.

I have learned something quite obviously through my long 23 years of life. Satan comes in many forms. It can be in something as little as a thought that can tempt us. But the truth is, it isn't a sin to be tempted. If that were the case Christ wouldn't have been perfect because He was tempted many times in His earthly ministry. The sin is acting on said temptation.

As I drove home I thought of all the scenarios: I could go home, down some pills and be done with it. Painful, might not be effective but it's worth the shot. I could find the nearest bridge and jump. I could sit on the railroad tracks and wait for a train. Etc. But the scariest was the thought I had of "crashing" my car on the way home. It would look like an accident, I thought. But the reality was, I could do that right now. The others took time and plans. This was quick, reckless, and immediate.

In my deepest pit of despair I pulled over to try to get my senses. I felt nothing but emptiness inside and it only grew worse as I sat there. I tried to cry, thinking that would be some sense of relief. No tears came. I thought of my dad and how I missed him desperately. I thought of my mission and tried to remember the miracles I had witnessed there. This only created more heartache and an odd sense of regret. Being the martyr I am, I felt like Oskar from "Schindler's List". At the end of the movie he conveys that he could have saved more. He could have done so much more. That was how I felt.

I was figuratively reaching for something I wanted so literally to save me. I finally was humbled enough to call out for help. I prayed, out loud, for help from the Lord. After sometime I finally calmed down enough to go home and go to sleep. I can't even convey what it was that made the difference. The peace was so subtle. But I just knew somehow that He was with me and more importantly, that He cared. Sometimes the greatest miracle is knowing that you survived that day. In the darkness, there can be light. I can tell you that after many witnesses I have received of Him, that Christ is real. Our Father and the Holy Ghost are real too. They hear us. They know us. They will -and have- saved us. What a miracle!

February 13th- The Miracle of Silly Dancing

February 13, 2013

I am sure you are all tired of hearing about my job, but boy do I love this job! Today we had a valentines dance and yet again I was putting 100% into everything. My clients are mood matchers so if I am not happy, they aren't. So I was being over the top silly and trying to get everyone to dance with me. It turned out to be so much fun! I nearly died on the dance floor from dancing too much but it was all worth it.

I started a game to get them involved that was pretty much "silliest dancer wins". My dad used to say "a room full of laughter makes those seconds of being stupid all worth it." He was right, but to that I say, "one laugh makes those seconds of being stupid all worth it." The greatest trait my dad had was being the funniest guys I knew. He could turn any story into something that made you pee your pants from laughter. I always wanted to be like that. Sadly, I am not like that nor will I ever be. But that is not my miracle. My miracle today was seeing that I didn't have to reflect on the bad times with my dad. The legacy he left behind in my memories was the laughs and the good times. I feared that when he died, I would be left with bitterness. That simply was not the case. What a miracle!

"Your past is just a story and once you realize this, it has no power over you."
-Unknown

February 12th- The Miracle of a little R&R

February 12, 2014

After working all day long, I got to come home and relax. I got to watch "New Girl"which is one of my favorite shows. Why? I honestly don't know. But it was nice to just relax for a bit and take a load off. Honestly, that was my miracle for today. I got to slow down for a bit and enjoy a little "me" time. That probably seems like a cop out, but it wasn't! What a miracle!

"When you stop doing things for fun you might as well be dead."
-Hemingway

February 11th- The Miracle of a Smile

February 11, 2014

Another miracle today is brought to you by my amazing job. One of my clients that I work with is confined to a wheelchair. On the most part, people I have worked with who are "stuck in a wheelchair" don't mind. They are some of the most positive people I know. This particular client however, does not think the same as most. She views her chair as a confinement and is more often than not, displeased with most things. I have made it a personal goal to see that changed.

At this job, I have decided that I am going to give everything I have to these people because they deserve it. If I am having a rough day, I just grin and bare it cause it isn't their problem. When I walk through that door, it's no longer about me. It's about them. Today was no different. We had some free time so I got to read to this particular client from her favorite book. I did it! I found her weak link, her kryptonite, her achilles heel! For her, it's reading her favorite book in character.... and acting it out. I was being my usual silly self and was over the top when I realized she was laughing! I had NEVER seen a smile on this woman's face and she was splitting a side with laughter! Oh! What a miracle to see! I could work for hours and change a million diapers and that smile would be worth it. What. A. Miracle!

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
-Maya Angelou

February 10th- The Miracle of a Laugh

February 10, 2014

Today I was sicker than a dog. I stayed in bed and slept almost all day. For some reason, I got the crazy idea that going to a "Family Home Evening" activity would be a good idea. Here, we get put into groups and we are called a "Family" and every Monday we do stuff together and have a little inspiring message. It's really a brilliant idea. I love it. I was called to be the "Mom" so... I felt a sense of duty.

Our activity was Ice Skating. We went to a random house a town over and they had this awesome rink just on the side of their house! They even have skates you can use! It was amazing and they didn't charge a cent. It was pretty cool. Anyway, There was just seven of us and the boys decided to play some hockey. Fearing that I might lose a precious tooth, I was a bit hesitant. But after a couple seconds of deliberation and a great deal of persuasion I joined. By golly, it was so fun! I probably looked like an idiot but I legitimately had fun.

The miracle today was that I laughed. I mean, actually laughed. Usually I force it just to be nice but today I was happy. Even for just an hour. That was nice. What a miracle!

"I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry."
-Dr. Seuss

February 9th- The Miracle of Bread and Water

February 9, 2014

Today was Sunday. Gee, I love Sundays. I had gotten a cold yesterday, but I wasn't going to let that slow me down. The most important thing to me today was the Sacrament. Every Sunday we partake in little pieces of bread and tiny cups of water to symbolize Jesus Christ. This is a type of renewal for us. We believe that a person has to be baptized just as Christ was baptized in order to be forgiven of our sins. Because we all sin, we need constant nourishment and renewal of that covenant to try to be better. That is why we take the Sacrament.

For me, this is so much more than just a symbol. It is a real thing. I don't always feel it, but today I felt the calm peace that I needed come over me. It was just what I needed. What a miracle!

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things".
-Unknown

February 8th- The Miracle of You.

February 8, 2014

Today I worked way too long. One of the places I work is a clothing store called the "Missionary Mall". It is a place where people who are about to serve missions for the LDS church go to get all they need. Like suits and things. Well, it has been rather slow, but it gives me time to think. Sometimes when we are left to our own devices we tend to ponder the depths of reality, the meaning of life or even sink slowly into madness. When I am left to my own devices, I try not to think. What a person thinks when they don't have anything to think about says a lot about who they are. I don't really want to face who I really am just yet. But, I had to think about something! In the book I am reading Les Miserables the character Jean Valjean ponders who he really is when faced with a hard decision. I'm sure I am not the only one who has pondered as Valjean did, "who am I"?

I mean, who are you really? What makes you, you? Is it the service you render? The happiness you share? The deeds you do or don't do? Is it what you wear or look like? As I contemplated this slew of questions I came up with the answer that it is all relative. What matters to me is not what matters to you. I could say all the cheesy and cliche stuff like, "it's the inside that counts", or "inner beauty is what matters in the long run". But, that leaves room for debate.

The miracle today was that I realized it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks makes me, me. Because everybody has their perceptions of character flaws and virtues. At the end of the day, you and only you are in your own skin. You have 100% control of who you are because it is not the past that makes you who you are. It's what you are today. My miracle was letting myself see who I was. So I ask you the question, what makes you, you?

"When we are no longer able to change our situation, we are challenged to change ourselves".
-Victor Frankl

February 7th: The Miracle of Love

February 7, 2014

Well, It's been a while... A month actually. I can tell you that everyday truly has been a miracle but I haven't documented it here officially. In looking back at the past month, the miracles that stand out to me have been rather subtle.

I got a job working at a Developmental Facility. This job has been the biggest miracle in my life so far this year. I get to work with people who see the world in such a different view! People who have every right to hate the world, their life, their future but instead see everything as a gift. These people inspire me. Everyday that I come in I want to be better.

Let me tell you about ... Lets call him, Ed. Ed has Down Syndrome, Autism, a metric butt load of other problems and can only speak but a few words. Sometimes he sings though, or whistles. He laughs at everything and can almost always see him smiling. When loading him into a bus (it usually takes two of us) he hit his head pretty hard against my chin. I felt so bad about the accident I kept telling him sorry, not sure if he could understand. He didn't show any sign that it hurt at all. Later, when we got back, he began complaining of a headache. He kept saying "head" and tears started coming from his eyes. He was about to be picked up so I sat there and brushed his hair back and held his head to calm him down. I sang to him and he stared at me with tear filled eyes. "Love" he croaked, "you". It was one of the sweetest miracles.

It was then and there that I realized what I had truly gained from this job. A chance to feel true, unabashed, love. You don't see that kind of love in the movies. You don't read about it in books. It was the pure love of Christ manifesting itself in this moment. Pure love comes from selflessness and service. Gee, I love my job! What a miracle!

"Spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people.."
-The Breakfast Club