November 13th- The Miracle of Why You Are Here

November 13, 2014

Today was interesting. Other than the fact that it's snowing and I am freezing, it is a rather good day. The past few weeks have been a real struggle. I have dealt with angry bosses, anal dance teachers and death. It's been weird to say the least. Nonetheless, today was good. Let me explain.

One of my clients today at work today was having a bad day. I tried to console her. In the middle of her tears she asked me, "why did He even put me here on Earth?" I realized she was talking about God. My heart broke a little for her. I realized that God was answering a prayer I had given earlier this morning. I had prayed for an opportunity to share my testimony with someone today. I wanted to make someone feel the love of God in their life.

I told her that she had helped me in my life. I reminded her that if anything, she was put on this Earth to help people like me have better days. Her smile is really all I need some days to get through work. I told her how important she was to me.

It makes me sad to think that there are people out there that wonder why they are here. I know that each of us is important in this world. I know that you and I are here to help one another. I know that we are here to get through trials so that we can become more like our Father in heaven. I am grateful for every person that has come through my life. My family. My friends. My associates. Even people who have hurt me. Why? Because they have made me who I am today. Sure, I don't exactly like who I am but I know that I am better today than I was yesterday and that has everything to do with the influences around me. Thank heaven for that! What a miracle!

October 27th- The Miracle of My Secret Spot

October 27, 2014

Today is just another day. It's funny though, I feel different. You ever have that time when you pray and ask God for something and then He delivers in such a way that you never imagined? Well, that has been me the past week or so. Every Sunday I go into my own "secret spot" and I have what I call "sacred grove" time. It's when I take all my problems, questions, gratitude, you name it, to the Lord. It's very therapeutic for me and my relationship with my Heavenly Father. This is not like any other of my prayers. It is much more in depth and has a lot to do with contemplation and meditation.

After I started doing this, I didn't see a huge difference in my relationship with God, I just kind of felt better in a way. Well this week, I feel like I saw each and every one of my prayers answered. It was incredible when I realized it. I was walking by the temple today when I realized that all of my prayers were answered in some way or another. It made me so happy. I sat there on the temple grounds and just gave thanks for all I was given. I feel so blessed.

As I sat there and gave thanks, I realized that the temple itself is this incredible symbol for me in my life. The temple is a way for me to remember the Savior and all that He has done for me. I'm so grateful for it in my life. What a miracle!

October 20th- The Miracle of Challenges

October 20, 2014

I have had so many miracles in my life recently that have just pressed themselves into view. It would be ungrateful of me to not share them. I have been increasingly busy with homework, school, work and all the other stuff. Honestly, it has been really stressful. However it has been an answer to prayer. You see, when I am idle, I do some really silly things. I feel much more productive when I am busy. I asked my Father in Heaven to keep me busy and boy, did he deliver!

He presented me with some amazing opportunities like being on the Water Polo team, giving me more hours at work (even when I just want to sleep), making schoolwork harder, the list goes on! A tender mercy happened today though. I saw my ballet mistress in the hallway at school today and she said I could join one of her companies. I was SO excited! I know it will challenge me a lot but isn't that what life is all about? Being challenged and overcoming it?

On a side note, in my religion class we talked about the differences between men and women and how we compliment one another in our differences. Can I just say how grateful I am to be a woman? I know for a fact that gender is eternal and the different roles of men and women are vital. I am grateful for naturally being a nurturer, a creator of life and a daughter of God. What a miracle!

September 25th- The Miracle of the Answer

September 25, 2014

I know guys, it has been a while. But I haven't given up on this yet. To be quite honest, I have been so busy with life that I haven't had time to sit down and write out all my miracles. There were however, many miracles that I can't even begin to describe. One of which involved me walking away from dumping a motorcycle with just a few scrapes. Another involved me learning a new skill (acro yoga) and not dying. I got to see and stay with my family for the summer while doing an internship at a studio. That was an amazing miracle. A lot has happened in a month. A lot has happened in a year.

I feel like I am finally beginning to really get out of the funk that I was in at the beginning of the year. I feel as though I am beginning to FEEL. But not just feel, feel good! I can't believe it. Even now, as I sit back and think about where I have been, I am amazed at how much better I feel.

You see, it all started this sunday actually. I had a lot on my mind as I went to the gardens on campus before church. While basking in the sun and reading my scriptures, I realized that I had been harboring a lot of resentment, hostility, and even enmity toward myself. And for some unearthly reason I decided to face this rancor at that moment. I walked around and found a secluded place amidst some trees. I knelt down and offered a supplication to the Lord that I can't even begin to divulge.

It wasn't the supplication however, that started this miracle. It was the answer: so peaceful and so amazing. I felt as though everything was going to be okay after that. Since then, I feel as though I have been a new person. I have found joy and happiness in little things as well as the big. I feel like I am a happy person again. What a miracle!

August 8th- The Miracle of Health

August 8, 2014

I know it has been a while... Yet again. Boy how the time flies! I have seen miracle after miracle in my life. I can't even begin to tell you all of them. I got an internship down here in California, which is a miracle in and of itself. But I get to teach dance. That is something I love. Sure, it's not my favorite style of dance but beggars can't be choosers that's for sure.

I am finally on the back end of a serious cold. It knocked me on my bum for about 4 days now. It was terrible. Thankfully, I have gotten much better and can now see the miracle of health! What a miracle!

July 18th- The Miracle of Makeup

July 18, 2014

Today was a really great day. You know what baffles me about life? Makeup. Once a week I wear makeup and doll myself up. I call friday my pretty day. It never ceases to amaze me. Without fail, I will get compliments about how I look so good, but only on Fridays. During the week, I don't wear makeup and I never do my hair. Which is why I don't get compliments until Friday.

I used to take offense to this. To think that I wasn't naturally beautiful. I had to use makeup to make everyone else think I was pretty and to in turn convince myself of that same notion. Yet, somehow today I wasn't offended. I was so flattered. For the first time in forever, I felt comfortable in my own skin. I was grateful that someone would compliment me. It was a big confidence booster. What a miracle!

July 17th- The Miracle of the Pool

July 17, 2014

I had the opportunity to go swimming today. Why? Because I wanted to be irresponsible and put off my finals till the last minute obviously. Also, I needed to wind down from ballet. It was pretty rough today. I really do enjoy pushing myself. It makes me feel real in a way. I guess that is my affinity with pain: the realness of it.

Anyway, about swimming. I somehow forgot how freeing it was. I forgot how it felt to be weightless. How it felt to contort my body whatever way I wanted without the stress of gravity. It was so cool! It was so relaxing. Being alone in the pool gave me time to think and just let go of a lot of steam. That was nice for me. What a miracle!

July 16th- The Miracle of a Final

July 16, 2014

Today was interesting. I was given lots of time to finish one of my finals. That was a relief. I really can't believe yesterday happened. The whole town is buzzing about it. It is the topic of everyone's conversations. The weather today gave no sign of yesterday's tragedy. Which, is just not like Rexburg. The weather is usually pretty predictable. Sign of the times? I think so.

The point was that today's miracle was brought to you by finishing a final. One less burden off my shoulders. What a miracle!

July 16th- The Miracle of the Flood

July 16, 2014

Today was amazing. I can’t even begin to tell you the journey I have had this long time since I have written in here. It has taken me two incredibly humbling experiences to get me to finally realize that I am not grateful enough for my miracles.

So after ballet class today, I was off to my lacrosse banquet to bask in the glory of a championship. As I left however, I realized that to say it was pouring buckets of rain was a gross understatement. It was literally a mix of both heavy rain and hail the size of marbles. I was astounded at the scene. My banquet was cancelled, our team evacuated, when it got worse. I headed home to find that my kitchen had been flooded. Not too bad but it used up all our towels and then some.

I was so excited about the rain that I decided to suit up and go for an adventure outside. Little did I know the chaos that was going on just down the hill. I walked down to an apartment complex only to find cars buried thigh deep in water. Their engines were completely drowned and cars were ruined. That is to say nothing of the damage done to the apartments themselves. That is where the story really gets good.

Realizing the destruction and serious possibility of danger, my thoughts of adventure were gone. I immediately headed to my friend Mimi’s place to see if she was okay. On the way there however, there were tons people trying to empty their apartments with buckets, trashcans, you name it. I wanted to join in and help but to my surprise, I was required for something else. There was a girl trapped in her room on the basement floor. She couldn’t get out. I swear it was something out of a scene from Titanic. The window would only open a certain amount, so I offered to go in and get her out.

So I squeezed through the window and got her. It was at this moment I was thankful for all the years of swim team, water polo and all the push-ups I do everyday in dance class. It took all of my weight and hers to get that door, and the others, open. The current was really hard still and the doors were quite jammed. It was an adrenaline rush. I loved it. 

After much tribulation, we emerged. I made sure she was okay, then headed to Mimi yet again. Seeing she was okay and her apartment fine, I looked for anyone or anything that needed manpower. Didn’t have to go far for that. I love Mormons. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It had to have been a hundred or so people forming a huge assembly line passing buckets, trash cans, anything they could find, filled with water and dumping it out. The amazing part not only was that all these people were so quick to help, it was the happiness they had. They were not somber even though they had lost so much. It was inspiring really.

After helping out with that and many other de-flooding, I was given time to reflect on the many miracles I witnessed today. I am so blessed. We are all so blessed. I feel so sorry for all those people who lost so much today. But I am so grateful no one lost a life. What a miracle!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1IGLzR29GM&feature=youtu.be

http://www.buzzfeed.com/davarav/the-12-things-you-saw-at-the-byui-flood-last-night-ulbz

June 7th- The Miracle of Endurance

June 7, 2014

This morning I was so sore that I could barely get out of bed, let alone make it to my knees for my morning prayers. I had my lacrosse game early this morning and I didn't die! That was a miracle considering my aches and pains. I am getting old. I can't handle this. Let me go back to 21. I would be okay with that.

I couldn't believe I was able to stay in all game. I hurt so bad! What a miracle!

June 6th- The Miracle of The Jazz Girl

June 6, 2014

Friday. A day usually filled with excitement and opportunity, has now become a drudgery. Thankfully, amidst my school filled/work filled/stress filled day, I found solace in my usual form: dancing. Tonight at latin dancing, a girl who is in one of my jazz classes complimented me on my dancing abilities.

Let me give you context here. I am not good at jazz! I am in a class with girls who have danced there whole lives! I find myself watching them in wonderment as they do tilt jumps across the floor like its nothing. Then I get out there and look like a drunk duck trying to leap. It just doesn't work! I usually end up frustrated and on the verge of tears. Pathetic, I know.

This particular girl is incredible. So her saying to me that I am actually good at something in the dancing world is nice. I really needed it. What a miracle!

June 5th- The Miracle of Splinters

June 5, 2014

Today was... interesting. I have been embarrassed many times in my life, but not quite like today. So I got some new ballet shoes, but before it was too late I realized I forgot my tights. "oh well", I thought. "I'm sure it is no big deal". We were practicing on floors that are old, rickety and have seen better days. I was obviously delusional.

Today HAD to be the day that we did tons of floor barre work. We spent a ton of time on the ground stretching and what have you. You see where I am going with this don't you? Well, I had been feeling lots of pain in my body, so it was hard to differentiate a specific problem. By the time I had gotten out of class and started running down the stairs to get to my car, I felt a stabbing pain. Where? You guessed it; my rump, my gluteus maximus, my badonkadonk. Call it what you will, it hurt like the dickens.

I had come to find out that I had gotten splinters in that area! I had no idea that was possible! The longest one was an inch and a half long! It was ridiculous! I felt like an idiot, but it was quite a story. It took me forever to get them out. Nevertheless, they were extracted and I have learned a painful lesson. I just don't think it had to be so harsh of a lesson. But sometimes the Lord has to smack me upside the head to get a point across. What a miracle!

June 4th- The Miracle of Mimi

June 4, 2014

Today was crazy. I still can't find my ballet flats. I am getting so discouraged. I had a lot to do today but all I could focus on was where they could possibly be, to no avail. I guess I will concede and just get some new ones tomorrow.

Amidst my frustration, a dear friend of mine came over and said hi. Her name is Mimi. She is so many things, but I will leave sum up her qualities with an all encompassing adjective of; incredible. She helped calm me down and I felt much better. What a miracle!

June 3rd- The Miracle of Green Fuzzy Socks

June 3, 2014

Today was incredibly busy. I had so much to do and so little time. I lost my ballet shoes. That had me going crazy. I am pretty sure that I am already crazy because I keep losing stuff. Anyway, I had lost my ballet shoes so I had to get new ones. Last night I made the horrible mistake of dancing without shoes and murdered my feet. Seriously though, if my feet could speak they would use some foul language. Well, they already do through the foul odor they emit.

So I had to get new ones but I had no time! So, I went to class anyway and danced in socks. My teacher let me use her fuzzy green socks covered in rosin. Let me tell you, it was a classy look for me. It was so nice of her to let me use her socks. My feet were much more happy after that. What a miracle!

June 2nd- The Miracle of Laughter

June 2, 2014

I loved the bustle of today. Even though I was called into work earlier than I thought, and lots of things were problematic. This evening my ward had an activity at the ropes course on campus and we had homemade fried chicken. I got to climb a huge wooden tower and free fall from pretty high up. That was a really fun activity. However, the true miracle today isn't from the fun I had or the stuff I got to take part in. The miracle was in the laughter. They say laughter is contagious. I completely agree. I was cracking jokes and trying to get people to laugh the whole time. I realized how special it makes me feel to have people laugh at my jokes. That sounds a bit silly doesn't it? Oh well. What a miracle!

June 1st- The Miracle of Picnics

June 1, 2014

Today was beautiful. I celebrated the warmth of the day with a friend of mine by having a picnic. Honestly, that was my miracle of the day. Sunday picnics are the best. I love them. What a miracle!

May 26th- The Miracle of Andy

May 26, 2014

Today was my first real day off in quite a while. It was nice. I got to go hiking. I love hiking so much. It was a little hike but it was still enough to enjoy the trees, open air and all the scenery.

The only problem was that the person I was with didn't really help me with my adverse feelings of myself. In fact, for the past couple days, I have been feeling quite low. Some men just don't know what respect is. Either that, or I am just not worth respecting. Which is a probable case.

When I got home tonight I was feeling so empty, disheartened and down. So much so, that I textualized a friend of mine only to realize that I had sent it to the wrong person. In trying to send it to my friend, Angela, I sent a plea of comfort to my friend, Andy. I haven't seen Andy in quite some time. The idea that him getting this information was just unbearable. Notwithstanding my reassurances that I would be fine, he came over to comfort me anyway.

As opposed to it as I was, his stubbornness was what saved me tonight. He hugged me and told me everything would be okay. I knew it would be but the reminder was nice. It's nice to know that I have friends out there who care enough to drop anything to help me. What a miracle!

May 25th- The Miracle of Hope

May 25, 2014

Today was so nice. Church is always so amazing and fills me with the drive and passion to move forward and not look back. I have lots of things I need to change about myself. Thankfully, I was reminded today that I can still get there. Hope is not lost. What a miracle!

May 24th- The Miracle of Nature

May 24, 2014

I won't lie to you, today was a weird day. It was one of those days that you just wake up in the morning and have a certain feeling that it's going to be a bad day. Well, when feelings like that occur for me, it is hard to look past them. Nevertheless, I tried anyway.

The crowning moment of today was on a picnic in St. Anthony. There is a beautiful park there just by the snake river. It was beautiful. Sitting there in the beautiful sun and feeling the gentle breeze was beyond description. You just can't recreate beauty like that. There is something so calming and warm about nature. I believe it is God's way of reminding us that He loves us very much. What a miracle!

May 23rd- The Miracle of Ballroom

May 23, 2014

Today was actually really nice. Latin dancing was cancelled bevause all of the instructors were gone for the weekend. LAME. So instead I got to go to ballroom. It was really nice. I missed dancing with good dancers and it helped me feel more confident. What a miracle!

May 22nd- The Miracle of Allergies

May 22, 2014

Well, today was a day. I had so much to do and NO time at all. Today we went to Hiesee, that sulfur springs I talked about before. It was a crazy time! As it turns out, I am allergic to the sulfur in the water there! I had no idea!

While we were "playing" in the water, I was holding my client. Out of nowhere I got this terrible headache. It was so bad that I couldn't see. I didn't understand why I was hurting so badly so suddenly. Well, I figured it out! I had an allergic reaction to the water. I am just amazed that it didn't do anything worse to me! I could have died! What a miracle!

May 21st- The Miracle of Silliness

May 21, 2014

Today was an interesting day. After Lacrosse practice, I took a teammate over to her friend's football game. It was raining and the wind was crazy. While we waited, she asked if I wanted to go out and play in the rain. To which, I of course said yes!

Today's miracle is that I got to run around and be silly in the rain. I loved it very much. What a miracle!

May 20th- The Miracle of a "Thing"

May 20, 2014

Well friends, it's been a while. Almost a week in fact. Fear not, I have seen miracles. The problem has been that I have been so busy and so depressed that I just haven't gotten around to it. But I am back. Don't you worry.

Today's miracle is brought to you in part by scheduling-it's a beautiful thing. Tuesday's and Thursday's are particularly busy for me because I have so much to do and so little time! I have to plan everything out by the hour so that I am not late for anything and I don't miss anything. I love it. I love the structure.

However, after a while, it is physically draining. Today I showed up to my last appointment for the day completely drained. It had been a hard day at work, hard time in class and I was ready to go home, eat something and finish homework. My counselor apologized upon entering saying that he had to cut it short because he had a "thing" he had to take care of. As cryptic and intriguing as that sounded, I didn't ask questions. I was just thrilled that I had some more time in my day. It gave me a bit more time to eat and do homework! So that was nice. The end. What a miracle!

May 14th- The Miracle of Numbness

May 14, 2014

I could say a lot of things about today but I won't. It just seems like I keep having hard days. I just wanna be happy again. Sigh... Anyway, I am NOT here to complain!

Today, I skipped Lacrosse practice and took a much needed nap because I didn't have work. When I woke up I got the incredible urge to go to the temple and invite an old friend of mine to come with. It turned out to be a great idea. When is the temple ever a bad idea though?

When I left the temple, there was no bad feelings, no good feelings either. I just felt sorta numb. Which was pretty nice for right now. I know I posted a while back about wanting to feel something, and now I am talking about numbness. I know, I'm such a flip-flopper! In all reality though.. I really just don't know what I want. I just know it's not what I have now. I am really glad I have a temple here though. What a miracle!

 

May 13th- The Miracle of No Bad Days

May 13, 2014

It's been a rough one today. I don't know why necessarily but I don't like today and I want it to be over soon! This morning I went to Ballet class and yet again felt crushed. I hate to compare myself to others but, I do it so well that I don't even realize I am doing it. I used to be so much better at ballet.... you think I would have gotten back into it by now! Anyway, the epitome of my frustration was in the fact that I just couldn't do anything well enough. I got out of class feeling like the scum of the Earth and just wanted to give up.

By the time I got to work, I was still emotionally frustrated with myself. I knew that dwelling so much on my own issues was selfish and self destructive, so I pushed it all away and attended to my duties at work. We got to go to the "Roxy Theatre" in St. Anthony. It is an old worn down theatre that I am sure has been there forever. We brought our own movie and watched it on the big screen. When we finished, I helped load people into the vans and was trying to get people to move faster and still have fun. I started to act ridiculous so that they would laugh at me. They exceeded my expectation. One of them said to me, "Katie B, why are you so crazy?!" To which I explained that I like making them laugh  cause it makes me happy and "I like being crazy." One of my clients said, "you never have a bad day do you?" That made me really happy. I'm so glad I was able to just push aside my own issues and help them have a good time. What a miracle!

May 12th- The Miracle of Flowers

May 12, 2014

Today was a long day. The usual, I suppose. I had class, work, Lacrosse practice, FHE and then off to homework. It was a bit overwhelming but I found strength in the fact that I was able to keep busy.

While at work today I took some of my clients to a nursery that I didn't know existed in this town! We went and got to look at the beautiful flowers. There is just something about being enveloped in God's creations that gives me a certain sense of belonging and peace. It's my inner "flower-child" coming out. Anyway, that was my miracle for today. What a miracle!

May 11th- The Miracle of My Mamas

May 11, 2014

Today being Mother's Day I have decided to ponder on the many "Mothers" in my life. Women who have helped raise me into the person I am today. My own mother was and still is quite the example to me. She has had a bit of a rough go at life. Still she managed to keep us kids all alive. One thing I admire about my mother the most is her ability to listen. She would make a great counselor. She is someone that is a great sounding board. My siblings and I go to her for advice or just for a listening ear.

I remember when I was little, we had a LOT of different kinds of people come through our home for various reasons... We still do but I digress. This one particular night I remember a girl who was my sister's friend coming to talk to my mom. She was just in high school and my mom talked her out of committing suicide. Now, this is not an isolated incident with Mama Blood. People know her and love her for the person she is. After my sister's friend came out of that room she told me what a great person my mother was. "Never forget to tell her how much you love her. She saved my life today. Respect that woman until the day you die". I remember that so clearly because I was at the age where I didn't respect parents very much. I took it to heart as I saw so many people come in and out of her room feeling much better about life.

Mama Blood is not the only mother I have. There have been women in my life who have taken me under their wing and I love them so much for it. I don't know where I would be with out you but I thank you. Motherhood is such an amazing blessing. Thank you all for your nurturing, kindness and love for me and everyone else. God blessed you each to be women of influence. He trusted you to be my mother. What a miracle!

May 10th- The Miracle of Gossip

May 10, 2014

There isn't much to mention about today. I worked all day long. Sometimes it is freeing for me to work so much and to stay so busy. So... There is that! But today was a bit different. I am usually one to not say much about things but this is pretty much my only "outlet". So, bare with me.

I teach a class at a studio in Idaho Falls as a side job for fun. Today, when I got to this class I found out that some local people were outraged at this class and have said and written things about how bad of a person I am. I know, I thought the people who told me were joking too. Turns out, I was wrong. They were serious. I couldn't believe the hypocrisy that was abounding. I mean, I don't go around saying I am a saint at all but this was just ridiculous.

I know what you are thinking, "Where is the miracle here? I don't even know what she is talking about"! Don't you worry baby birds, I'll feed you. You know how people say "sometimes any publicity is good publicity"? Well, they are SO right! Even though I got terrible reviews- on my character not on my class- I got 3 new people to join my class! They told me they had no idea about it until they read the article! So they wanted to come and check it out!

So to you random stranger who hates my guts, is raising up some kind of "army" against me but doesn't know me in the slightest, I say unto you "Neener, neener"! You are my miracle for today! What a miracle!

May 9th- The Miracle of Strangers

May 9, 2014

Today was weird. It wasn't like usual Fridays. There was no Latin dancing tonight so I felt a bit lost. I went to my Jazz class this morning and my teacher wasn't there. She had to go to a wedding. So our class was taught by a Zumba instructor. Now, don't get me wrong, I like Zumba. I just wasn't in the mood for it today. Well, I wasn't in the mood for much today.

After signing in and staying for a few dances, I felt so apathetic that I went into the locker rooms and just sat there in a curled up ball. I don't know what I was thinking or why I was doing what I was doing. Nevertheless, I was zoned out. My mind was gone. A blank canvas. Na.. that sounds too artsy and vulnerable. My mind was more of an abyss.

That is when a girl came in. I don't know her name. I don't know anything about her. She came in, started changing then noticed me in the corner. She didn't say a word. Only came up to me and hugged me. It was the most random thing I had ever experienced. At first it was awkward. I was curled up in a ball. That didn't create the best angle for hugging. Nevertheless, I felt a bit better after that.

So to you, random stranger, thank you. You are my miracle. What a miracle!

May 8th- The Miracle of Prayer

May 8, 2014

Well, it finally happened! I found my keys. I feel like an idiot though because they were in my center consil this whole time. Sigh. But! Prayer works! I have been praying for so long (since saturday) that I might find them and viola! I found them! What a miracle!