February 8, 2014
Today I worked way too long. One of the places I work is a clothing store called the "Missionary Mall". It is a place where people who are about to serve missions for the LDS church go to get all they need. Like suits and things. Well, it has been rather slow, but it gives me time to think. Sometimes when we are left to our own devices we tend to ponder the depths of reality, the meaning of life or even sink slowly into madness. When I am left to my own devices, I try not to think. What a person thinks when they don't have anything to think about says a lot about who they are. I don't really want to face who I really am just yet. But, I had to think about something! In the book I am reading Les Miserables the character Jean Valjean ponders who he really is when faced with a hard decision. I'm sure I am not the only one who has pondered as Valjean did, "who am I"?
I mean, who are you really? What makes you, you? Is it the service you render? The happiness you share? The deeds you do or don't do? Is it what you wear or look like? As I contemplated this slew of questions I came up with the answer that it is all relative. What matters to me is not what matters to you. I could say all the cheesy and cliche stuff like, "it's the inside that counts", or "inner beauty is what matters in the long run". But, that leaves room for debate.
The miracle today was that I realized it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks makes me, me. Because everybody has their perceptions of character flaws and virtues. At the end of the day, you and only you are in your own skin. You have 100% control of who you are because it is not the past that makes you who you are. It's what you are today. My miracle was letting myself see who I was. So I ask you the question, what makes you, you?
"When we are no longer able to change our situation, we are challenged to change ourselves".
-Victor Frankl
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