I was having a REALLY hard day today. I mean, really hard. Let me explain.... too long. Let me sum up! It started off with a terrible headache that lasted ALL day and still has yet to go away. Then I had to dance. Which is usually a fun thing for me. Today it was dreadful. All my turns were off. My kicks were heinous.
Then I went to class and my teacher basically told me that my dreams were unattainable because I wasn't a talented enough dancer. I left that class feeling crushed. It was all I could do to keep it together and it was literally only 11 in the morning. Then I went to work and was running late so I went slowly through a stop sign (California stop) and I got pulled over. RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY PLACE OF WORK!!! The fact that not only was I getting a ticket AND late for work, no... that wasn't enough. To add insult to injury my boss came out and tried to talk the cop out of giving me a ticket but the cop was adamant that I "learn my lesson". I got the ticket.
Then I had to go to Heise- which, if you haven't been there, it smells something absolutely dreadful-sulfur hot springs. I had to carry one of my clients into the pool to play with her. As I was getting into the water, I slipped. With her in my arms. For a split second, thoughts of her falling and hurting something scared me to death. I caught myself and over corrected and she was okay. My leg didn't feel so hot though. That was pretty much the last straw of the day for me. I got one of my coworkers to hold her while I "went to the restroom" and bawled my eyes out. Needless to say, my day sucked. Now I have a ton of homework to do.
You may be wondering what this has to do with miracles. Part of me wants to tell you that it has nothing to do with miracles. God hated me today and just wanted me to suffer. That however, would be a lie. My miracle today was that I started feeling again. For the past few weeks it has seemed as though I have been numb. Walking through life with a blank stare and a fake smile. I could feel nothing. Not happiness. Not sadness. Numb. Today, I FELT something. At least to know that I am alive. That my soul hasn't completely collapsed into itself. Feeling hurt, upset, frustrated, embarrassed, terrified and overwhelmed is much better than feeling nothing. Believe me. What a miracle!
No comments:
Post a Comment